nature always 

wears the colors 

of the spirit.

ralph waldo emerson

so. go lightly.

go confidently

in the direction

of your dreams

and live the life

you've imagined.


henry david thoreau

hanging onto creativity in five easy steps

Life can really eff up our best laid creative plans. Whether it's day-to-day distractions or a slight midweek delay or months of serious interruption, creativity may be the first thing an artist chucks when Life Stuff needs attention.

Makes sense. Life Stuff tends to bring stress along for the ride and stress is the great frazzler. The mighty brain muddler. The genuine maker of tired. The birth place of overwhelm. Which, over the past twenty four months, has been my natural state of existence.

My Life Stuff included projects I took on willingly and life events that, surprise, cycled into my sphere like blazing comets. Some months I found myself with a thousand tasks of varying sizes, and though I'm keen on organization and order, there've been moments when I really struggled to manage large and small, now and later, and important and dire, because sometimes, well, everything felt dire.

In the end, I'm semi-shocked to be coming through this period in okay shape. Well, many days I'm in okay shape. Which is mostly due to a sense of humor that shows up in the nick to time. Still, there are days I wonder how, in the whirling, swirling Life Stuff solar system, I'll make it to bedtime without being cast off into the deep space of exhaustion or explode from spinning overload.

This, by the way, comes up for most of the writers and artists I know. At gatherings or meetings with newbies, they ask those who've been at it awhile, "How do you manage your time? How do fit writing and art into a normal, busy life? How do you do it all?"

Ah. The question of doing it all. In the good old days, I could whip a mountain of Life Stuff into shape in no time. I had the drive and energy to divide large, small, now, and later tasks with such speed and devotion that every project got done before it even mattered where it fell on the spectrum of importance. But now, in the good new days? Well, Life Stuff comes more frequently, at an erratic pace, and when everything is happening at once, Life Stuff begins to feel life altering.

"Do it now, immediately, this minute, or face horrendous consequences," Life Stuff hollers.

So, what happens when a Creative decides they can't do everything, be everywhere, and help everyone? What happens when a Creative decides something has to give? In observing myself and artist friends, I've noted how often we accept the enormity of Life Stuff and dive in, letting go of creative projects, deeming them one-off, or setting aside creative ideas, labeling them can-wait. And sadly, our instinct is to put the creative time we love, honor, and desire in a dark corner and try to forget it exists.

Well, I'm here to say, "No more."

Now, I'm not just anyone saying, No more. I'm not just some random busy person making a bold, pushy declaration. I have qualifications. Seriously. In the last two years, I've experienced handfuls of Life Stuff situations listed on the healthcare industry's top stressors lists. And some of these things I experienced twice. Seriously. So, I'm speaking from experience when I say giving up craft seems like the logical choice. In fact, I'm partially writing this post as a way to embed this lesson into my subconscious. There is some good news, though.

If you happen to be the kind of Creative who, in the midst of a shitstorm, grieves the loss of your creative life, your brain is already set up to know that ignoring the creative drive is not the solution. Your brain won't see it as taking something off the table. It'll see it as struggle. More burden. It'll keep reminding you how good it feels to create. In this way, the better thing to do is keep one's imagination-daydream-creative muscle as the wellness thread that weaves through quiet, tiny minutes and large, unexpected blocks of time. But how do we do it? How do we hang onto creativity no matter what?

Hanging onto Creativity in Five Easy Steps

1. Buy or borrow noise-cancelling headphones and set up a creative safe zone.

When several big Life Stuffs (moving, a home renovation, assisting with caregiving for a family member, my healthcare) came up my world, I could literally watch time slipping away from me. Not-so-little tasks crop up during times like these and loads of unknowns make for emotional upheaval. But with noise-cancelling headphones and a creative safe zone, be it a room, a table, or a chair, a person can disappear into a sketchpad, a lump of clay, or laptop and capture anywhere from few minutes to several hours of private, uninterrupted create-something time. With this step, a Creative must make it the rule, not the exception, to go straight to headphones-and-safe-zone when time opens up. Ignore everything and everyone. Be disciplined. Be ruthless. And have all your materials at the ready. This is (finally) your time. This step applies to all Creatives, whether you garden, woodwork, cook, or dance. Have your space, supplies, and headphones waiting for you. And remember: it's okay to shut the world out in order to open the doors within.

2. Make piles and make a choice.

pile of scrap wood, waiting

Some like disarray. Others won't tolerate it. Where do you fall on this organizational scale? If you've been researching, brainstorming, and gathering inspirational items on several creative projects when Life Stuff robs you of time, you'll want to take an hour to give everything a once-over. Why? For peace and serenity, that's why. Because it will happen. You will be in the middle of a Life Stuff task and wonder, What happened to that sketch? Those sentences? I jotted that important information on a napkin. Or did I write it on that page I tore from the magazine? Where is it?

stack of unfinished paintings, waiting

For neatniks and clutter-tolerant Creatives alike, the first to-do is the same: make one pile for each creative project. Those who like it tidy, put the piles away. In a drawer, a cabinet, under the bed. Keep only a few piles in reach. Ones you'd love to haul to the creative safe zone. On the flip side, if seeing what's waiting for you keeps your spirits up, just lay the piles around wherever you normally do. Pile-making is a twist on the Twyla Tharp method. For her, each new choreography project got its own file box, and   though those piled up, things felt sorted while also reminding her of an exciting future. As a side-note: in crazy-busy times, you might surprise yourself and switch organizational sides, or like me, become both orderly and disordered. Just remember: when things aren't so hectic, you'll get back on track. For the moment, piles will do for knowing what's where.

3. Keep a notepad in your hip pocket.

Writers and artists of all kinds are known for always carrying something to write with and on. After all, ideas arrive in snips and snaps, morning, noon, and night. In the case of managing Life Stuff and creativity, the notepad will also be the keeper of small, distracting to-dos and don't-forgets.

Call this gal. Email that guy. Return the pants. Water the ficus. Buy oregano.

If you must, type into the notepad on your phone. But remember: there's something about putting pen to paper and the action of writing for clearing the gobblety-gook from the mind. There's something about the pressure of that notepad in your pocket that tells you you're full of amazing, artistic ideas.

4. Make a take-it-with-you creative kit.

If it's happened once, it's happened a million times. Waiting. And most of Life's Stuff seems to come with a line. For even the most hurried or wiped out Creative, having something to do while we wait can make the mental difference in viewing time as our friend versus our enemy. So, pack a small kit of items that let you switch over to right-brain thinking.

Maybe it's something new: a fabric swatch in an embroidery hoop and needle and thread. Maybe it's the old standby of color pencils and a journal. Or maybe the kit is full of straight up fun, like comic books, silly putty, and a loop of string for making Cat's Cradle or Jacob's Ladder. Whatever you make and take, don't push yourself to use the kit if you need waiting periods to zone out. Because remember: daydreaming works too. It soothes. It brings joy. It feeds the creative brain.

5. Recruit an accountability partner.

Oh, golly. I know. This sounds so self-helpy. But listen, do you want to weather your Life Stuff, only to return to your creative life and have to start at square one? This truly is a thing. Where health, family, job, finances, friends, responsibilities overwhelm us to the point that when we return to the work of creating something, we can't possibly remember where we left off. Or we've changed and can't do it the way we did before. If this happens often enough, a really lovely, must-be creation will never be complete. I'm talking about that creation that'll tear your heart out if it's not finished. The creation you feel you must show the world so you can be you. So, if you have that creation or several potential creations like it, I'll say this...

It's better to advance a project, even if with tip-toey, baby steps, than keep starting over. And after a few check-ins, having a trusted accountability partner asking you what forward-motion you accomplished that week will suddenly feel imperative. You'll feel cared for and also responsible for yourself and your must-be creation. Which is important when Life Stuff threatens to swallow you whole. I mean, remember: We aren't our Life Stuff. We are what we create.

Bonus Step: Eat, sleep, move, and emote at your optimal pace.

So obvious, I know, but nothing, and I mean nothing, will ruin creative energy like depletion. When Life Stuff arrives, first take a breath and commit to staying wholly healthy. Task numero dos? Fill the refrigerator and pantry with energy-giving snack and meal options. If you're totally stressed, ask a friend or family member to run to the grocery for you.

With sleep, it's never, ever wise to skimp. Not even to exercise. Sleep studies prove sleeping is better than exercise for well being. And if you can't sleep, try a nightly ritual of deep breathing, low lighting, and soft, spa music 30 minutes before bed.

As for movement (and notice I didn't say exercise), it's crucial, but not complicated. If you have an exercise routine you adore, don't skip it, but there are alternatives. Park farther away and walk. Ride your bike around the block for five minutes. Dance wildly in the living room while sipping a cocktail. And stretch, stretch, stretch. The body and your emotions. If you need to cry, cry. If you're angry and want to punch a pillow, go for it. When the giggles hit, belly laugh your ass off. Holding emotion in or neglecting basic needs during Life Stress will create stagnation, frustration, and hyperventilation, and in the end, we must remember: we not only deserve to self-nurture, we can't be there for others or our creative lives without it.

There’s this quote by George Eliot:

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

It’s a favorite of mine, but almost every time I recite it to someone, they scoff. Maybe that reaction is due to the way we view time. Have we made it work for us or do we see it passing uncontrollably with few opportunities to harness it in our favor?

Or maybe the quote reminds us of the moment we caught a glimpse of our desired outcome, but turned away, whether on purpose, frightened by the enormity and power of it, or because we were distracted by a shiny something, a too-good-to-be-true promise, a call to duty.

Or maybe we simply found an easier way, a safe and comfortable way. A way that didn’t feel like it’d swallow us whole.

For me, the quote implies a lot. Like, there’s unknown magic along the road to the destination. Like, I have the map, I routed my path, and I know where I want to end up, but the very real, feet pounding out the trail journey is long and will change me. To the Might’ve Been Me. The Supposed To Be Me.

For me, the quote also almost-demands I start again, over and over and over if need be, to find that enormous and powerful idea of who I could be—each day, every day, as long as I live—and when I catch sight of that person, advance toward her. Determined, insistent, unwavering.

Each of its implications and demands presents an important challenge for Creatives confronting aging for the first time. Go off map? Leave the plotted route? That was fine back then, but now I’m too old to take risks. I’m too wise to chase magic. Following whims? I could bounce back when I was younger, but now it’s irresponsible. And I don’t have time. I mean, I really don’t have time. One car needs new tires. One needs a tune-up. The bathrooms need to be cleaned. And there are the three appointments today and then tomorrow that guy is here to do that thing and Thursday I’m helping so-and-so with such-and-such and, well, the calendar is jam-packed. And the thing I need is not Might’ve Been Me, but Should Be Me, who has a steady, stable job that provides security.

Then I turn the corner. Click on a link. Meet someone new. Have an idea. Write or make something great.

I think, Maybe writing and art don’t have to be tossed aside as pastimes after all.

I think, Six more months. I’ll give it six more months.

I think, I’ll micro-focus with tunnel vision dedication. Because…

It’s never too late to be what I might’ve been.

Shit.

sketchbook philosophy

While some seek to

make our world

less unified and diverse,

I'll imagine cities 

packed with colorful harmony.

Fiction must stick to facts, and the truer the facts the better the fiction...so we are told.

Virginia Woolf
A Room of One's Own

Human happiness, the happiness of writers...questions by which we, in our age, seem enthralled...do not enter these pages.

What is important, what is essential, is that works of genius be created. In that writers' unhappiness interferes with their creation, one should be concerned with the happiness of writers. The important thing is that they must express reality; they must express their genius, not themselves. They must illuminate their own souls, but they must not allow the souls to get in the way of reality. For pitted against reality, against the great tradition of immortal literature, the self is puny; it is of no interest.

Mary Gordon, in the Foreword of Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own

With freedom, books, 
flowers, and the moon, 
who could not be happy?

oscar wilde

the capacity for hope is the

most significant fact of life.

it provides human beings

with a sense of destination

and the energy to get started.

norman cousins

people are capable, 
at any time in their lives, 
of doing what they dream

paulo coelho

rainbows: everywhere

From this,

this:

May rainbows always emerge from our scrap piles.

risk:

before

after

on getting to the 

finished product:

sometimes you need unconsciously to let your mind consider an idea. you have to consume one idea so that the next idea comes.

miuccia prada

Recently I wondered...

What would happen if, instead of getting amped when something stressful came into my life, I simply let it roll off my back?

Then a series of interesting things occurred.

First, I came across Cyndi Lauper's book Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir. It's truly amazing what she went through in order to reach success as a musician. In the 80s, the music industry was dominated by men and Cyndi's creative drive was often ignored, laughed at, or battled over. Still, she kept on rolling.

Next, a few stressful somethings came up and I got amped. And stayed amped. I wasn't rolling with it. At all.

Finally though, I remembered how I wanted to try something new in the face of stress and I took a breath. And then another. I focused on things that made me feel good. I looked for the bright side. I laughed. And then...

Inspiring and helpful discoveries and people began to appear. Nothing big or major. Just subtle niceties and smile-worthy moments. And lots more laughable situations. I revolved away from frustration and back toward my creative endeavors. Over and over.

The funny thing about trying to change is that it can be, well, trying, to change. Small turns feel insignificant and some days it's hard to notice that amusement and joy are laced through almost every experience. It helps to joke with friends. It helps to have fun. Which made me laugh...

Isn't that what Cyndi was always trying to tell us? Girls just want to have fun. But she was also saying something else.

About equality. About expressing ideas. About judgment and inclusion and the notion of having friends and family accept us for who we really are. And about claiming and using personal power. All of it kinda serious stuff. 

And there it is. The rotation between the lighter side of living and the heavier, stressful side, where we face tough situations or people that challenge our ultimate goals. Or our true self. And in these worrisome moments the advice to "just roll with the changes" can feel wrong. Weak. Condescending. So, for me, I realized rating the threat level of an unwelcome situation (or person) is a must. If the threat to my true, lightest self and creative goals is high, I dig in and defend. But if it's low or silly or trivial, why bother? I need that energy to keep things rollin' along.

Roll: mixed media, 2015. Using a reproduction of a magazine clipping as a base, I acrylic-ed over the images to recreate a portrait of the stars of the movie Whip It. The image was then collaged onto a watercolor, hand-lettered, and glazed.

A few days ago I commented on the starts, middles, and endings of projects, and today I'm realizing those things matter so much to me because I'm just beginning to understand and practice process. Meaning, the process of building a story or piece of art. Truth be told, the art of process challenges me. Mostly because I feel like I don't have time for process. There are too many things to do. And often I'm looking for short cuts to get to the finished piece. Because I see it in my head. I feel its message. I know every detail that wants on a canvas. I hear every word that wishes to be typed. So, shouldn't I be able to will it to life in a split second? That way I can get on to the next idea that 's brewing?

Sure, sure, I know the beauty of process. I know where experimenting and rough drafts can take a person. I have, well, processed. Many times, actually. Including today. What came out of it was a room lined with canvases and files, flung open so all their inspirational contents could be strewn about. Oh, and this...

Just this.

Five pieces, all pleasing me. And placed side by side the reason is clear. I like the color story, which happens to be mirrored from one item to the next. Turns out, I hinted to this color story in the mixed media pieces propped up against the walls. The pieces have remained unfinished because I couldn't quite put my finger on what was missing in each one. But now I've got it. Now I've got the element needed to call the pieces finished and to tie them together. It's not just the element of color, but how it relates to the other colors. And how it makes me feel. And maybe that's all process should be...the act of creating and conveying feeling. Truly, I'd be glad to make time for that.

Wishing you a bright-as-spring creative weekend.

curiouser & curiouser

sometimes there's this thing. a chest, a box, a case. 

it's always more mysterious when there's a handle, 

but you know it's not a suitcase.

and then when you open it, it's not that you're amazed,

it's that you're enlightened. amused. satisfied.

you compliment yourself. "oh, of course it's a typewriter. of course."

and then you ditch the carrying case and give it a once-over.

            

then you give it a good, hard look.

yep. it's a portable typewriter. smith-corona. 

midcentury. in excellent condition.

cool design. fabulous color. funny smell.

the ribbon still holds ink.

we fool with it for a few days.

we vow to research it.

we walk past it, behold it, chuckle.

then we put it in its case and go back to life.

still, the art of it sticks with me, and no surprise, when i take it out to look at it again, there's a character here. she's typing, furiously. because, goddamnit, she has something to say.

In the fall of last year, I wrote a few posts about a slew of midcentury objects coming into my experience. In those months and the months since, many changes have taken place in my life. Endings, beginnings. And yes, middles. Lots of middles. And because it can be a tendency of mine to get stuck in the middle, I've been pushing for more starts and finishes. I've done okay. Even with some unexpected care-taking of a family member. Even with a home sale, a home purchase, and a remodel underway.

Still, I'm not quite up to the standards I set for myself after a 3-day creativity course in January. And here it is April. Fast approaching the exact middle of the year. So, this week I've been taking stock of the things I want to start and those I want to finish. I'm realizing, joyfully, and celebrating, quietly, that I've set a good foundation for my starts and finishes. Ticking off items on the pre-work list and, often in the moment, moving the finish line. Because with writing and art there are many finish lines. Like with this vintage typewriter.

From the start, I felt curious and amused by it, but not really inspired. I mean, what's not to love and admire about the thing? But my true connection to it was a mystery. Until today when I imagined that girl, typing. She's not a writer, either. And she's not using the typewriter in a workplace. She's alone. She mumbles as she types. Daylight's flooding in. And what I know for sure is she's driven. Determined. Blindingly determined. To get her message out.

For now, that's the end. But at least it's a start.

Following the light of the sun, 

we left the Old World. 

christopher columbus

Hot rollers, sponge rollers, perm rollers. Metal clips, barrettes, and hairpins, not bobby pins. These are the styling tools of the old world, and indeed, the vintage supplies pictured are mostly mid-century pieces belonging to my 97 year-old grandmother. Because she uses only a comb and a brush to keep her hair neat now, these supplies would have eventually been tossed if I hadn't rescued them. I wasn't completely sure what I would do with them, but shortly after they came into my possession, I was cleaning out an art file when I found some drawings I'd done in the late 90s. Here's one:

Seeing this reminded me of the beauty routine and supplies I once had, and beyond that, I recalled the days of watching my sisters primp. They were so glamorous with their lighted make-up mirrors and Conair Ready-Set-Go steam rollers. I thought about how we all knew what phrases like "get ready" and "go out" entailed. I thought about how the process of getting ready to go out oozed with hope and anticipation, but sometimes the prep wasn't worth the trouble. Some events and outings just never measured up to the efforts we put into our look.

In the end, I realize I took my grandmother's supplies because there are stories in those items, and now I see characters in most hair styling tools. Thinking about those characters prompted me to reimagine the girl above, and as I messed around with pattern paper and some canvas and fabric scraps, a whole group of girls stepping out into the world began calling to me, wanting their story told. Hopefully they don't mind waiting while I organize a few other art novel ideas I'm toying with. But you know a girl in rollers...she can be antsy and impatient. 

Today, my calendar tells me, is the first day of Autumn. I've noticed it edging in on us. I've noticed it trying not to be hot, trying to soften its stark, blinding light. Just last week, I noticed the sunshine filtering through the tree branches, proof that the desert sun has dropped lower in the sky. Ah, such relief. And I'm ready for change. Even after a summer of new developments, switcharoos, and change overs. For some lovely reason, anything that happens in autumn feels kinder, gentler, more impactful.

Since the beginning of September I've been eyeball deep in writing and art projects. It's been a stumbly start, but I'm back to writing and arting full-force. I hope to post more often too. Especially since I'm inspired to share some interesting personal items that have come into my possession since spring. These mid-century keepsakes and craft items, like the tangle of leftover embroidery thread pictured above, inspire me in cool and curious ways. Often I imagine characters and stories that relate to the objects and materials...often these characters ache to have their voices heard. Hmm. We'll see where that goes.

Wishing you a joyous and inspired autumn!

"If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it, and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good."

Roald Dahl

There is time 
for work, 
and time for love. 
That leaves 
no other time.

Coco Chanel